9: Dreaming of Iago

I had a dream Iago came: and I was never called.

Iago: the nickname I've given Kelly's baby, the name of my favorite villain. I teasingly call him this because the name she and her husband have chosen for "Baby FermaNels," as she calls him, is a secret. So I've dreamed names for him: Vaughn, Jacob. Reflections of too much television viewing. I may refuse to admit it here, but I'm secretly addicted to going through full television series on Netflix.

I've had two dreams now, both recently, that Kelly has had her baby and I am called after the fact. There are dreams that permeate reality, that move you emotionally. I wake up in the fog of the dream, still feeling it was real, feeling deeply disappointed. Then: relief. A dream.

I am to be witness in the waiting room as little Iago, or FermaNels, or whatever he is to be called, arrives. I am chief documentarian, so to speak, the one who will peer over her shoulder armed with words and images to preserve those moments.

She recently emailed me to say her bag is packed and ready to go; she advised me to pack one too. I feel silly putting together a hospital bag, but she could go for twenty four hours as my own mother did when she had me.

Now, I am knitting. Kitchen cotton and bamboo: little washcloths with baby feet on them. Maybe I'll find some jungle patterns too.